The History of War, Part 1: Pre-Combat.

People are whores.

Shit's been like that since Eve bussed it open for an apple. I'm not sayin the snake hit cuz that would just be weird, but Eve giving up eternal life and getting herself and all future generations sentenced to an eternity of damnation (before Jesus did his whole Jesus thing) for a bite of an apple was kinda equivalent to "Let me just put the tip in..." after few shots. It all goes downhill from there.

So in today's society, sex is our apple. We fuckin love apples.

And ever since our first apple/pussy/dick (whatever your vice is), we haven't been the same. Motives changed. Or rather, a motive was added.  Most of us moderate self-esteem having humans, no matter what age, are motivated by self, with outside motivation from family, friends, and money. But our first sexual encounter created a motive that dominates the rest of our lives. Yes, we're still motivated by the need to be secure (financially, physically, psychologically) and make sure our friends and families are happy, but the need to bust a nut is a completely seperate motivation.

Now masturbation is great and all, but most of us would prefer someone else be there to help us get our nut. And in order to get somebody to help us out, we kinda have to help them or demonstrate an ability to help them first.

Here's where the war begins.

I generalized the "you help me, I help you" aspect, because the degree to which we have to help them is all based on leverage and assets.

Basically, the more you have already, the easier it is to get some sex.

In some cases, its as simple as having a vagina.  Studies show that having a vagina is 98% effective in getting sex.  Because 18% of dudes will fuck 100% of any available vagina, regardless of other assets, tangible or intangible.

If you have a vagina, and you're in the 2% ineffective category, skip this next part, unlucky bitch.

If you're a woman and you happen to encounter one of the 82% of us that don't want your vagina just cuz it's there, or you have a penis (which doesn't seem to guarantee cheeks on its own) it would be in your favor to have at least one of the following:

Healthy body: Don't be obese. Don't have your ribcage poking out. Some people prefer chubsters. Some people prefer athletic builds. But just don't be a burger or missed meal away from death.

Ass and titties: I'm gonna be a neanderthal for a moment. And clearly this only applies to women. A nice round, proportionate ass will cut that 82% of dudes with standards down to about 61%. A strong B cup or a C cup will cut it down from 82% to 70%. If you have both, you're down to about 50% of dudes who still wouldn't hit off ass and titties alone.

Attractiveness: Everybody's opinion on this is different. If your teeth and eyes are pretty, your skin is all one color (preferably no darker than mine), and your hair looks good, I can probably get past a moderately misshaped nose and still invite you over for "Netflix". Some dudes can't. And some dudes don't care if you have zits or a slum weave. To each his own. Women are generally more open to still letting an ugly guy hit as long as they have some feature they like.

Money: Underrated topic when it comes to women. Because some dudes don't care if you're broke or unemployed. Shit. I don't either. I'll still fuck an unemployed bitch if she's attractive and well-kept. But it probably won't go much further than that. Women in general aren't as forgiving. Some don't care if you're broke as long as you have a car. And some want that car to be at least a '93 Civic while others want it to be a Maybach. Whatever. But either way...just don't be completely without money.

Now if all of those aren't enough to get you a fuck at first sight, which is extremely optimistic, then you have to engage in combat. Mind against mind. Motive against motive.

Stay Tuned for The History of War, Part 2: The Game.